There’s No Effing Capital F in “Firm” Without a Proper Noun

Somehow, legal professionals have convinced themselves that their workplace deserves special grammatical treatment. But no matter how much you think your practice is superior or distinct compared to all others, regardless of how you rate your wordsmithing talents, despite how your pen outmighties your sword, just don’t do it. I implore you. This madness has reached epidemic proportions, and the cure is at your fingertips. Literally.

“WTF, John?” you protest. What the F, indeed. Allow me to prove my point.

It Looks Ridiculous

Say you have a client who puts out neighborhood blazes. They have an employment issue you don’t handle. You come across this bio while trying to identify a suitable attorney to whom you can refer the client:

Francis is a Formidable litigator representing Forthright Firefighters who Fall victim to unjustified Firings and reductions in Force. Francis Fearlessly Faces employers and opposing counsel, Formulating Fresh strategies Founded on Fresh Facts and Flawless proof, and refusing to Forfeit until her Faithful efforts secure Full restitution and Favorable results for First responders and their Families.

Admit it. You would think this lawyer is a self-smitten idiot. Now read this:

At our Law Firm, we zealously advocate for every client, utilizing all of the Firm’s talent and resources to deliver the best possible outcome. For more than 50 years, our Firm’s lawyers have demonstrated unparalleled professionalism and dedication – the foundation for the Firm’s long-term success.

It’s not just awkward and wrong. It also comes off as pompous, not just for your firm, but all firms that commit the same transgression. You think you’re all that and a bag of chips? Bully for you, but skip the cap F.

You Are Breaking the Law (of Grammar)

Many rules have been repealed and overturned in my lifetime and yours. One that hasn’t since the fourth grade? English capitalization. Still the same. No change.

Proper nouns get capitals, common nouns don’t. Voila.

When you write “Doolittle & Waite Law Firm,” you’re referencing an actual (yet unfortunate) proper noun that deserves the capital treatment. Similarly, when you write “I work at a law firm” or “the law firm down the street,” your brain, fully aware the grammar gods are watching, knows not to capitalize the common noun. You’re just describing a type of business—no different from saying “I work at a restaurant” or “the coffee shop down the street.”

Were we to forego applying established grammar rules, we would all shop at Grocery Stores, fill up at Gas Stations, send our kids to School, and seek help from Therapists. Anarchy, I tell you! Sheer and utter mayhem!

And lest you think I’m alone in my reasoning, consider these authoritative sources:

• Associated Press Stylebook: “Capitalize common nouns such as party, river, street, and west when they are an integral part of the full name for a person, place, or thing: Democratic Party, Mississippi River, Fleet Street, and West Virginia. Lowercase these common nouns when they stand alone in subsequent references: the party, the river, the street.”
• Chicago Manual of Style: “A common noun is the generic name of one item in a class or group. It is not capitalized unless it begins a sentence or appears in a title.”
• MLA Style: “Common nouns are nouns that do not refer to a specific person, place, or thing, and they are not capitalized. Proper nouns refer to a specific person, place, or thing (e.g., names of people, cities, and months), and they are capitalized.”

Why This Actually Matters

While I am willing to begrudgingly allow for disagreement over the Oxford Comma, there is no wiggle room on capitalizing the common noun “firm.”

Here’s the thing: sloppy capitalization makes you look like someone who skims the fine print—not exactly the impression you want when clients entrust their livelihoods and liberties to you. And since we’re largely talking about website content, your choice to skirt correct grammar will live forever on the internet.

If you don’t think people notice these things, you’re wrong, especially the other lawyers, judges, current clients, and prospective clients who visit your website and read your correspondence. Nothing says “I didn’t proofread this” quite like random capitalization scattered throughout your writing like grammatical glitter (which also never goes away).

If you can remember to capitalize every instance of “LLC,” “U.S. District Court,” and “Esq.,” surely you can refrain from capitalizing common nouns.

For Pete’s Sake, Lowercase the F

If you need encouragement to make the change, I’m rooting for you—you can do it! The fix is embarrassingly simple: stop treating “firm” like it’s the name of your firstborn child. Update your website. Redo your marketing collateral. Perhaps send a gentle but direct memo to whoever writes your firm’s content.

Oh, no one at your firm does that? Call me. I know someone who can help.